Behind the Curtain

 

by JR Patterson, MFT Intern

It’s a natural desire for us to want to present our best selves to others. In most of our interactions with others, there seems to be a performance aspect to what we do. We want to prove to be competent in our jobs, to leave a good first impression with those we come in contact with. We want our houses to be neat and tidy when guests come over. We want to post the best and most exciting photos of us on social media.hqdefault

Although we look nice and clean when we present our “best selves”, sometimes we may feel messy on the inside. Everyone sees the life we live when we are on stage, but very rarely do they get to see the life behind the curtain. The sad thing is that everyone has their hidden messes, and I mean EVERYONE. Just as with the great Wizard of Oz, when you take away the filters and magic tricks, we are all just people trying to do our best.

I believe that a great deal of our depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem comes from trying to hide our life behind the curtain. We tend to say things to ourselves such as, “If people knew who I really am, they wouldn’t love me”, or “I’m not as good as people think I am”. “I act like I’m happy all the time, but on the inside I feel broken”.

At times I wish that I could have known the truth about people’s lives behind the curtain when I was growing up. I would have seen my shortcomings and weaknesses with a lot more acceptance and compassion. My first experience with sharing my life behind the curtain was in therapy. Therapy is a safe and sacred place to start unveiling your authentic self because your vulnerability and openness will be held with no judgment. As you start to open yourself, something crazy will happen, you will begin to find value in the mess that you think you’ve made, you may even begin to love that mess. There is a saying in the world of recovery: “turn your mess into a message”.

landscape-1440525088-wizard-of-oz-main-fourWe all want to be loved, seen, and heard; but how can someone truly love you if they have only seen a part of you. The parts of you that others can’t see are the parts that need the most attention because they are the parts that need the most healing. As you engage in the healing process you will able to find that every part of you is worth loving. Your healed heart can become a gift that you can share with the world.

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