Note to Those Individuals in Recovery:
You are doing well and that should be congratulated – by yourself and others.
I found the path of recovery to be very nurturing and very gentle. Specifically, as I exercised enough confidence to trust the program and do it fully, I found that shifts which seemed so scary, which I had worked on for years, softened. There have consistently been times when I am doing things that have nothing to do with recovery, like when driving or talking to someone, when suddenly I become aware of a sweet shift, however minor. Truly the best description of this is found by saying these concepts or changes ‘distill upon my soul as the dews from heaven.’ Is that not gentle?
So my point being – don’t force yourself to face difficult emotions – just let God do his perfect work – and my full belief is that right now that means staying sober and do the actions of the program – one day at a time – one moment at a time. That will bring you to what you need – it is all structured out. There will be nothing that will be too difficult or too much of a leap. Nothing forced. So far, it appears you are making full room for the program as outlined. If you don’t compromise that, or make it second to anything else, or do things half way, then you can rest assured you are doing all you can do and all that is expected and can expect the blessings.
I honestly think you have a lot of good thoughts about the meetings etc. I resonate with much of them. I also found tremendous relief when I could finally just allow myself to be a part of what it was, as it was….(for me btw SA programs seemed to be more useful than ARP – although I found them both helpful). Perhaps someday there will be meetings – ones that in fact you generate – that are tailored more to your thoughts regarding what is most helpful. But for now the general format is working for countless thousands of people, and there is much to be said about just letting go and joining as just a guy who is, at least currently, new to this process of recovery.
The simple act of surrendering to the process – as imperfect as I found it – was perhaps as important to my feeling a spiritual transformation as anything I actually did or said in the program itself.